The theory

"Want to have juice at Gurunath?" Arun asked me.

"Of course!! If u are sponsoring." I replied.

As we sat at Gurunath sipping, Arun looked at the mango juice and remarked.
"Hmmm, This is really good. Its an actual mango juice.This reminds me of something. Tell me who spoke these lines".
"Have you ever stood and stared at it, marveled at it's beauty, it's genius?"

I had no clue what he was talking of.

".....Billions of people just living out their lives, oblivious..."

"What !!! " I said.

The parrot in him continued "......I'd like to share a revelation during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species. I realized that you're not actually mammals. ..."

These lines sounded a bit familiar..

"......Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment but you humans do not. You move to an area and you multiply and multiply until every natural resource is consumed....."

"I think I know this." I said.

".....The only way you can survive is to spread to another area...... "

"Ah!!! Got it!! Its Agent Smith. The Matrix " I said.

"........There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet. You are a plague, and we are the cure." He finished.
"Man! I am a fan of that guy. I would love to be a virus." Arun said.

"Aha! Then you would have no use of the women, if can multiply by yourself" I said.

"Multiplying is a side effect. Its nature's way of forcing you to create by-products when you don't want to, luring you into certain acts." He remarked philosophically with a mischevious smile on his face.

"If that is the case, then consider the following scenario. The human population has been continuously on the rise . So if we assume that the nature can stabilise itself then nature must be doing something to reduce this mutiplying byproduct effect. " I said.

"May be thats why more and more number of people are getting attracted to their own gender. Maybe its nature's way of reducing the human population.... Hmmm...I guess we have some sort of a theory here." He said.

"I believe that the human body is the hardware and the DNA is the software. I think that the nature has been doing quite a lot of software updates . I call Evolution to be a series of such software updates. Being the "differently inclined person" or not depends on your genes. "

"You mean that some people are born like that??" He asked.

"I think i read this somewhere. Do a google search." I said

"Hmm.. That means that nature continues the software updates and if the human population continues to increase, then more and more number of the species turn into "differently inclined ppl" and eventually the race will be wiped out." He said.

"Now, we have a theory."

The First time

"Have you gone mad? Its 12'o clock and now u want to eat breakfast ?? " Shyam asked.

"Yup" , I replied."We go to Gurunath, eat something there and THEN we proceed to mess for lunch. "

" I don't want to eat anything at Gurunath." He said.

As we entered boundary of Gurunath, I saw a lady sitting there.

"Who is she?" I asked.

"Saw her in the line for Phd registration yesterday." He replied.

I bought a GOODDAY biscuit packet and a coffee and went to one of the tables. I strategically chose the table such that it was close the one in which she was sitting.
Her mobile rang. She picked it up and started talking.

"OH MY GOD!!" I said.

"What is it?" He asked.

"She's talking in Gujarati. Aha. Now... I have a chance. I yam going to go and talk to her." I said.

"If u get beaten up, then remember that i am not with you." He said.

Gathering all the guts that I got up and walked towards her table. I felt something strange in my stomach and remembered that i was hungry. She looked up and saw me walking towards her. I sat in front of her and said "Are you a gujju?"

"Yes." (Aha ... my pickup line worked.. now i need to steer the conversation slowly and get her number )

"Which place ?"

"Ahmedabad."

"What a coincidence. I also happen to be from ahmedabad." (Yes!!!)

"Which college?"

"I finished my Mtech from L.D. Joining here for Ph.d. What about you?"

"I did my B.tech from Nirma."

"Oh!! Nirma..." (She's going to say something)

"Then you must be knowing my husband."

"H-H-Hus-HUSBAND????" I stammered.

"He was a lecturer there in the civil engineering dept."

"How do u find chennai? It must be difficult for you." (one last try!!)

"I have been living here for the past two years. My husband shifted here two years back."

"See you around." I said.

Cursing my extremely Bad luck(and her husband) i returned back to my table.

"Good that you did not get beaten up. What happened?" Shyam asked.

"Forget it. Lets go for lunch."